Overcoming Obsolescence
by Zhaita
Summary: An SI with spotty memories finds themselves merged with Illyasviel Von Einzbern a month before the Holy Grail War begins. The very same girl who dies in all three routes either during the Grail War or a year after it. Armed only with an angry Berserker can this new Illya overcome the numerous obstacles in the way of her survival or is she doomed to succumb to an untimely demise?
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own the Type-Moon Franchise obviously, nor do I own any of the characters nor care about owning any OC's that I probably won't bother fleshing out if I do create them as this is a piece of fanfiction Yadda, Yadda, etcetera.**

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"What's your honest opinion about sleeping and dreams in general?"

If someone had asked me such a question I would've declined to respond, if only because honesty demanded that I answer with sharp disgust that it was an awful necessity, a task that wasted nearly half of my life away, using time that I could've spent on something far more productive or enjoyable. Instead that time was relegated to maintaining a steadily failing shell using a process that left the sad excuse I called a body vulnerable and helpless.

I wasn't any different from the rest of humanity in this regard as I had to endure this testament to my inherently flawed biology every single day. My distaste was to the point that if someone had offered me a way to remove the need for sleep without repercussion, I would have taken it within a heartbeat.

Or, that would've been my former stance on the issue. Since right now, I would very much love to feel the sweet embrace of Morpheus. If only to escape my current predicament.

I tended to love waking up and experiencing a brand-new day, but before I could even open my eyes, pain assaulted my very being. It wasn't just a single place, no, quite literally everything hurt. My body felt like one giant bruise, my insides boiled as if I had swallowed molten magma while a jagged blizzard howled within my veins, every single move I made caused near endless agony.

This certainly wasn't what I expected when I woke up, I was surprised I was even coherent let alone not screaming bloody murder at the top of my lungs, in fact I wasn't making a single sound.

_It wasn't a big deal. I was used to this much…_

I lazily blinked my aching eyes open at that thought, I was used to this? Since when?

_Actually who am I again?_

Despite the pain and exhaustion I hastily picked myself up from the frigid ground in a clumsy fashion, ignoring the searing pain that assaulted my nerves with an ease that was unnerving.

As I nervously looked around the first thing that I noticed was that I was surrounded by a snowy forest, but that wasn't what truly caught my attention. No, what made my unfamiliar surroundings completely irrelevant was a stony behemoth of a man, if he could even be called a man, towering right over me!

The next thing that registered at the back of my mind was that he was smeared with gore, no doubt from killing something recently. There wasn't a single doubt in my mind that this thing could break me like a twig with his pinky finger. This unfamiliar and threatening monster should've engaged my fight or flight instincts into overdrive at first sight, yet…

All I could feel was a deep sense of comfort and safety from his presence, instead of the sheer terror that should usually accompany waking up next to an intimidating figure who practically oozed bloodlust.

_That should be expected, he was my Servant after all, Berserker would protect me._

Servant, Berserker…

My eyes lit up in recognition, this was Heracles the Servant of Illyasviel Von Einzbern during the Fifth Holy Grail War, a powerful demigod out of Greek myth that put _most_ of the other competitors in the Fifth War to shame.

_Wait a minute, he was my Servant?_

It took me a minute to realize the implications, admittedly I wasn't in the best head space at the moment.

Quickly I moved to grasp my hair, only to see long snowy white locks, a unique characteristic of Einzbern homunculi, including one Illyasviel Von Einzbern. I wasn't stupid nor slow, I could put two and two together, I was probably Illya, the homunculus daughter of Kiritsugu Emiya and Irisviel Von Einzbern.

It was that conclusion that opened the floodgates, as years of memories assailed my mind with all the subtlety of an angry Berserker. No wonder I was used to the pain, I'd been enduring this for nearly a whole month now!

That's not even mentioning all those times I was cut up for surgeries to further increase my already stellar capacity as a Master, all under the orders of a single man, or should I say golem?

_Old man Acht was a LIAR!_

My eyes narrowed in fury as I recalled Jubstacheit claiming that papa had abandoned me, but Kiritsugu did come for me! It was only that old codger who kept him away! It was well within the Einzbern patriarch's abilities to keep him away, considering he was the intelligence behind the Einzbern castle itself.

Wait… Papa? Since when did I ever recognize a fictional character as my father?

No, Since when was Kiritsugu a fictional character!?

I clutched my head as two sets of conflicting memories warred in my head each battling for dominance. It was enough to cause a blistering headache, but the pain was secondary to the confusion that began to plague my thoughts.

I could clearly remember watching Fate/Stay Night, a series that covered the events of the fourth and fifth Grail Wars for entertainment, hell I even remember enjoying learning about its alternate timelines such as Apocrypha and Strange Fake. The Holy Grail War was a piece of fiction set within the Type-Moon franchise created by one Kinoko Nasu.

Yet at the same time I could also remember being prepared my whole life to win said Grail War, besides how could the War be fake, when there was proof that the ritual existed right in front of me!?

I take a quick glance at Heracles to confirm that yes, he was standing right there. I would've probably also tried pinching my cheeks if I wasn't already trapped within a purgatory of pain, disproving the whole dream theory right off the bat.

This was reality, Servants were real, the Holy Grail War was real, but if that was the case then what about the memories claiming the Grail Wars were pure fiction? Didn't that mean that my memories of watching the Fate series were the fake ones?

_It was possible…_

A mage of significant prowess could pull such a stunt off, mental interference was common in the Moonlit world and easy to accomplish. However that was only the case for mundane civilians, hypnotizing another magus and messing with their memories was a whole different beast entirely.

The amount of magi capable of accomplishing this on me of all people was sparse to say the least and that wasn't even taking into account said magi would have to pull such a difficult task right under Berserker's nose!

Still it wasn't totally impossible for a Magus to do a poor job, like the one I apparently subject to, but what was the point of giving me these specific false memories though? You would think the perpetrator would at least try to erase my previous self before trying to supplant me with a fake persona, this was such an amateur mistake.

_Wait, what if both sets of my memories were fake?_

No… even if that was the case I couldn't get caught up in self-doubt, all that served to do was cripple myself.

For now I was Illyasviel Von Einzbern, I could recite everything that's ever happened to her at the hands of my so-called family but try as I might I couldn't even put a name to the other set of memories. I could remember nearly everything about that life including minor trivia such as my classmates from first grade, but my name and other personal details were suspiciously blank.

Well there was always the possibility that my memories weren't rewritten, and I just cracked under the pressure, all to come up with an excuse for why Kiritsugu failed me…

No! Even considering all the pain I was experiencing I felt perfectly rational and of sound mind.

_That's exactly what a crazy person would say..._

The possibility that I could be mentally unstable was abhorrent, but not something I could readily disprove at the moment.

I, I needed to confirm if these memories were real along with researching a question that I was determined to answer, it was akin to hitting two birds with one stone.

My father Kiritsugu had won the fourth Holy Grail War, but just as the miracle was within his reach the Magus Killer turned it down. Instead choosing to abandon me in favor of some random orphan he picked up off the streets, at least that was the Truth as Illya knew it.

At the same time my other memories claimed that the Magus Slayer didn't turn the Grail down for no reason, but because it was corrupted by the Avenger Servant from the previous Grail War, Angra Mainyu.

That was the key to all of this, if I could find evidence for Angra Mainyu being the Einzbern's Servant during the third Holy Grail War, I could prove whether or not these memories were true…

Actually on further thought that wouldn't be nearly enough, but it was a good first step.

It wasn't going to be easy since according what I could remember there was only around a month before the Fifth Grail War started in earnest and I was scheduled to leave for Fuyuki a week before the War began.

That only left me around three weeks to prepare. Still I was confident I could be as bold as I wanted, Acht wasn't going to discard me this late in the game unless I pulled out of the Grail War full stop.

I paused to consider the thought, running away wasn't entirely without merit. The Holy Grail War was a glorified death trap with no true reward for participating except for of course a grisly demise. Unfortunately there would be grave consequences if I avoided going to Fuyuki, world ending consequences.

_Angra Mainyu…_

Even if a miracle occurred and everything worked out in Fuyuki, running away wouldn't even accomplish much considering I had a year maybe two at most left to live.

_Why was I so accepting of that? _

A measly year, what a joke! Except it wasn't funny in the slightest. I wanted to live, I wanted to thrive!

Illya was well past the point of caring about her remaining lifespan, competing in the Grail war was her whole purpose for existing, as the best Master the Einzbern's could manufacture. But I wanted to live as long as possible, definitely not a single year.

I, was I not Illyasviel? I was disoriented to the point I wasn't even sure if the Einzberns even existed! Everything I knew was subject to suspect, my mind was a mess.

I stared at nothing in particular while my thoughts started racing a mile a minute, trying to comprehend who exactly I was.

Well, I certainly wasn't the person whose name I couldn't even remember and I had obviously different priorities than the original Illyasviel.

The more I thought about it the more I realized that while I was no longer either of them, they still made me who I am. In essence I'm some odd amalgamation between the homunculus daughter of Kiritsugu and the nameless individual whose memories believed this reality was completely fictional.

At first it would've been obvious who should've influenced who me more, between the full identity of Illya and some fragmented persona that denied the reality in front of them. There was just one small problem though, Illyasviel seemed to lack any desire except for revenge upon Shirou, yet even that motivation was weak to the point that trading her life for his after only knowing him for a few days in the Heaven's Feel route started to make more sense.

_No wonder Gilgamesh called her a meat doll, I was so empty._

Right now though I was overflowing with selfish desires, I craved power, I desired entertainment, I aimed for immortality, I JUST WANTED MORE!

Instead of a hollow desire for revenge like the original Illya, I wanted so much more from life. I couldn't care less about killing my brother, even if Kiritsugu did abandon me because of Shirou. There were so many other things that were far more important to me then that petty goal, like not dying for instance.

In fact considering how much of a sucker Shirou Emiya was, it wouldn't be hard to make him bend over backwards to help me, a vicious smile graced my lips at that thought.

_…It seems I still had a bit of a mean streak concerning my brother, if he even existed._

I shook my head to dismiss that tangent. Before I start planning for variables that could very well be figments of my imagination, I needed to first confirm that _ANY_ of my memories were real, Hell I could be in Tamriel or Middle Earth for all I knew.

_Baby steps Illya._

The first thing I needed to do was find the Einzberns to determine if they actually existed, then find out whether Angra Mainyu was the Einzbern's servant during the Third Holy Grail War or not. Once I finished with that then I could start planning out how to survive the clusterfuck that was the Fifth Holy Grail War.

Taking a deep breathe to collect myself I looked towards Heracles. Despite his madness the Berserker Servant somehow understood my desire and scooped me up, placing me on top of his broad shoulders.

"Berserker to the Castle!" I cry excitedly in a childish voice, my worries fading away and spirits buoyed by mere proximity to the powerful Berserker.

"▃▃▅▅!" Heracles roared in agreement as he started moving past the snowy forest, I just hoped he knew where he was going because I certainly didn't. It wasn't surprising considering I was chased by a pack of wolves earlier, needless to say I didn't have a clue where I was supposed to go now.

If I remember correctly it wasn't time for me to return yet as Acht had ordered me to suffer in this cold and desolate wasteland until I was called for.

Of course my suffering was for a great cause, I needed to do this to improve my bond with Berserker, the same Servant Acht had chosen since it couldn't betray us, wait how did that make sense!?

_Short answer, it didn't._

What a farce, it was most likely just another excuse to further indoctrinate me into being a good little meat doll who selflessly sacrificed themselves for the good of regaining the Third True Magic, now wasn't that just dandy?

_Yeah no, fuck that._

I didn't intend to be Jubstacheit's puppet any longer and I was confident it was far too late for him to replace me, especially considering all the work he's put into me, along with the fact I already have Berserker at my side.

There was the chance that my memories and this hodgepodge personality I now called my own were to bait me into this course of action. Unfortunately my only other options were to wait in an icy hellscape for a summons that might never come or wander blindly, grasping at straws to solve my imminent expiration date.

If I did die in the confrontation with Acht it wasn't a huge loss, since I was going to die soon anyways if I didn't manage to pull a miracle off.

If the memory manipulation was done with this intention in mind, effectively removing the Einzbern's 'Perfect Master' from the Grail War then all I can say is well done you magnificent bastard!

_I still hate you though._

I was going to ask the Einzbern patriarch straight to his face what Servants our family have summoned during the past wars, I wasn't going to waste time fruitlessly trying to research some sealed records. Not when I could hear it straight from the thing that's overseen every Grail War since the ritual's inception.

Briefly I considered just killing the old hunk of junk for all he's done to me, but ultimately dismiss it simply because I wasn't sure how to put him down for good. Old man Acht wasn't a human or even a homunculus, but a centuries old artificial intelligence using the Einzbern castle as it's framework. He was similar to Zouken Matou in that regard, an Immortal existence that couldn't be called human and an utter pain in the ass to kill.

Unfortunately I didn't have the ability to kill him, not even with Berserker by my side, as all Heracles was good at in his current class was mindlessly smashing things, why couldn't I have summoned him as an Archer his much, much, much stronger class?

_Oh right! Because Acht said so! I hate him so much._

Another thing to consider was that I was barely keeping the Mad Servant in existence, I had powerful magic circuits sure, but that was no substitute for the Grail's support. The supposedly omnipotent cup hasn't activated yet, so without the device's support my ability to support Heracles' existence was unfortunately lacking.

In fact I could recall Heracles' skin being punctured by those mangy wolves from earlier, a hero like Heracles who possessed God Hand! A Noble Phantasm that should've repelled all attacks below B Rank, in case anyone needed clarification that was enough to crack a mountain!

Regardless the Grail should begin supporting Heracles soon, but that still left the fact that the dumb brute approach wasn't going to work against Old Man Acht, just like it wouldn't work against the old worm Zouken.

_Well that didn't matter because I already knew the perfect way to get back at that hunk of junk._

I was going to pull a Kiritsugu, in other words even if I won the Holy Grail War, I had no intention of using the wishing cup, or even allowing the Greater Grail to manifest. Now who in their right minds would turn down a nearly omnipotent wishing cup that they've already won?

_None other than myself of course!_

While I could just cheat and claim my reasons for refusing the Grail simply amounted to Angra Mainyu, I won't. Even if Avenger didn't exist and wasn't contaminating the Grail, I still wouldn't ever allow the Greater Grail to manifest, because in short, I had to die for that to happen.

If it was hard to tell, dying was dead last on my 'Things that Illya wants to do' list, right below becoming Shirou's harem member number five.

The thought of being shoved into some dude's harem sent a shiver of revulsion down my spine. If anyone was going to have a harem it was going to be me, surrounded by beautiful women!

Wait, was that even applicable anymore? While this body is around eighteen it hasn't physically aged since I was eight, I haven't even started the beginnings of puberty yet and probably never would.

I'm not sure whether to be happy or disappointed about that, but hey look at the silver lining! I wouldn't have to deal with the myriad inconveniences that being an adult female would entail.

...Wait, couldn't I just solve those with magic?

_Ahh, my silver lining has darkened._

I'm startled out of my increasingly inane thoughts by Berserker's rumbling growl. It seems while I was lost in thought Heracles found the Einzbern castle.

As I stared at the giant white castle, a building sense of trepidation seized my mind. I was going to have to fight in the Holy Grail War, wasn't I? A thin smile graced my lips at this absolutely amazing revelation! I was so ecstatic I might as well have a heart attack!

_Did I ever mention how screwed I was?_

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**A/N: My first SI fic with an Idea that's been bouncing around in my head for a while. It's been so long I forgot what led to this idea anyways hope you enjoy.**

**Btw Not entirely happy with the title so if you have an idea feel free to leave a suggestion in the comments.**

**Fixed a few typos and changed the beginning somewhat B/C I felt it read a bit awkwardly, but I still don't think its all that great now though.**

**A/N 2: some minor grammar fixes and edits.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Type-moon nor do I profit off of this work, enough said.**

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The sensation of butterflies fluttering within my stomach wouldn't abate as I walked through the pristine halls of the Einzbern castle. Most would think that my thorough familiarity with the family manor or the lack of resistance I've encountered so far would serve to calm my nerves, but no they only had the opposite effect sadly.

The only reason my heart wasn't hammering in my chest was the encouraging presence of Heracles right beside me, giving me a strange sort of confidence I had never felt before.

_Yes, I could do this, Berserker was the strongest after all!_

Perhaps it was a childish sort of assurance, but I took solace in it regardless. It was a comfort I sorely needed as I begrudgingly moved step by step like a criminal towards their execution. I was moving to meet the perpetrator of most of my suffering here, the thing that had turned what I once considered a home into a place I despised, needless to say this wasn't something I was looking forwards to.

_It had to be done though, I needed to know if these memories were true or not._

The dead red eyes of other homunculi watched me as I slowly stalked my way towards Acht's office. They were probably just wondering what I was doing back so early, but that didn't make all the eyes I felt on my back any less creepy. Fortunately none of them dared approach me as they were either scared off by Berserker or completely apathetic regarding anything that didn't involve their assigned duties.

Finally after what felt like hours, I had arrived in front of the luxurious wooden door that led to Jubstacheit's office. A part of me wanted to storm into Old man Acht's room and angrily scream obscenities at the piece of trash for all the shit he's put me through, but my more rational side thought that was stupid and suggested using diplomacy instead.

_It was best to approach this carefully, I would get my revenge soon… Just, not now._

I paused taking a deep breathe to calm my frayed nerves before I quickly rapped my knuckles on the door in short succession. The knocking was mostly for show, since Acht probably knew I was here before I had even entered the manor, if my new memories could be trusted.

_Let's hope I don't screw this up._

Slowly the door swung open to reveal the stoic visage of Jubstacheit, his frigid blue gaze swiftly boring into my red eyes without blinking.

_Why was this worth noting?_

Well it's because Einzbern homunculi only possessed red eyes as we were all albinos, Jubstacheit meanwhile was the only one within the Einzbern residence that lacked these signature red eyes, it was a small detail that brought attention to the strange nature of Acht.

Most Magi would quickly assume that Acht was just another human magus like themselves, just as Kiritsugu had believed once upon a time, however they couldn't have been more wrong as the Einzbern patriarch was no human but a humanoid golem instead, which in turn was only a terminal that allowed the centuries old Artificial intelligence that was part of the castle itself to interact with the world.

The silence was broken as my so-called grandfather finally deigned to respond "You're back early…" I didn't know what to think of that statement as his face hadn't moved from the usual cast of disapproval that was its default expression.

"Yet, I see you already have Berserker under control. You have surpassed my expectations Illyasviel, I'm proud of you." A small smile crossed his face as he complimented me sending a shock of joy down my spine, I was praised!

_Don't be fooled Illya, he's an absolute asshole! He quite literally threw you to the wolves for a test!_

_...Damn,_ I must be starved for attention if such a small thing makes me so happy that there's practically a tail wagging behind me, but I wasn't going to be led astray by such feelings like Pavlov's dumb dog.

I knew Jubstacheit's smile only contained the same pride a weapons manufacturer might have once they've made a better product, that's all I was to him a tool to be used and discarded when spent. Well I refuse, I wouldn't let him manipulate me any longer!

_You're getting distracted you came here for a reason._

I didn't let the storm of emotions roaring within my mind show on my face as I nodded "Yes, but I feel that I could do more to prepare for the war grandfather."

"Hmmm, more you say? What do you have in mind Illyasviel?" Acht questioned, his brow raised.

I tried to suppress the victorious smirk that threatened to appear on my face, but was met only with mild success, the golem had reacted just as I hoped. "First, I want to know the capabilities of the previous Servants we've summoned so I have a better idea of what to expect from my opponents. Next I'll need to know what to expect from the Matou and Tohsaka family magecraft and how to best counter them."

_As long as I mention how it will help me win the Holy Grail War the old fool will buy it wholesale._

"Yes I had given you an overview, but a more detailed account would certainly help…" Jubstacheit stroked his immaculate white beard in thought, a surprisingly human mannerism for such an inhuman thing, but I suppose that came with centuries of practice "Come in then, this will be a long conversation."

I sent a quick glance back at Berserker who was still dutifully trailing behind me, which presented a problem since he was too big to follow me through the door while materialized.

Heracles immediately grasped the situation despite his supposed madness as his form faded from view, astralizing into mist. Suddenly sweet relief descended upon me as my screaming nerves were now blissfully silent, the absolute agony I'd been enduring now lessened to a more tolerable dull ache.

I should've realized it earlier, Berserker's incorporeal state was far less taxing on my magic circuits, the same circuits that caused tremendous pain when used.

_That wasn't even mentioning the sheer agony they caused when they were strained to their limit, just like what was happening up until now._

With Berserker in more energy efficient form I followed the old golem into his office until he motioned towards a cushy seat, opposite to the one he took for himself. As I sat down on the aforementioned chair Acht slid a cup of Darjeeling tea across the mahogany table towards me. I quickly wrapped my cold hands across the pleasantly warm cup, waiting for old man Acht to begin.

"I shall start with our previous Servant Saber, the King of Knights Arthur." Jubstacheit's face shifted into a wistful expression at the mention of the once and future king, "All her parameters were A ranked with only strength lagging behind at a solid B rank while her Noble Phantasms were even better."

Jubstacheit spared a glance at the currently incorporeal Berserker before he continued "Honestly if we still had Saber's catalyst I would have seriously considered summoning Arthur again as she was the card that won the Fourth War, the real reason we lost that War wasn't because of Saber, but the fact that a certain someone abandoned his duties."

_..._

_That, was a low blow._

I gave Acht a frosty glare for the blatant insinuation but didn't interrupt as I still needed what I came here for.

_Don't scream at him, don't hit him, don't sic Berserker on him, don't fall to his bait you're better than him. _

"Still Heracles is just as good if not better than Saber with his higher parameters there's no doubt as to who would win between the two. The only thing Berserker lacks compared to Saber is an offensive Noble Phantasm, but that isn't an issue since with God Hand he'll outlast any opponent. It's why I chose him after all, you can't expect any less from the greatest Greek hero." Jubstacheit remarked.

_Patience Illya, patience._

Justacheit paused to take a sip from his own cup of Darjeeling before continuing his lecture, "The Servant before Saber though…"

The Einzbern patriarch shook his head, a grimace of disgust marring his typically stoic face "A complete disaster, horrible parameters, a weak noble phantasm, in fact he had absolutely no redeeming qualities."

_Here was my chance! _

"Who did we summon that was so weak and why him over powerful heroes like Heracles and Arthur who we also had catalysts for?" I asked trying my best to sound sincere.

Jubstacheit didn't seem to notice anything odd about my pointed question, probably due to his inability to truly understand human emotions "It was a mistake, we had tried to summon a Divine Spirit, something that was sure to win the war by using a newly discovered ninth class container, Avenger. It all went wrong as instead of obtaining Angra Mainyu the Persian god of darkness we wound up with a failure lacking the smallest spark of divinity, a wretch that was even weaker than the competing Magi at the time."

_Well there's the confirmation I did and didn't want to hear._

I've never been more conflicted upon hearing something before in my life. On one side hurray I probably wasn't completely crazy! Yet on the flip side there was the resigned dread of knowing I had to deal with the incarnation of darkness infesting the Holy Grail in the near future…

"You seem to be lost in thought Illyasviel." An emotionless voice interrupts my train of thought bringing me back to the real world where one Jubstacheit Von Einzbern is glaring at me, it seemed he didn't appreciate my wandering attention._  
_

_Quick make an excuse!_

"There are extra classes? This is the first time I've heard of them." I blurted the first thing that came to mind, which in hindsight wasn't the best question considering I already knew the answer, although the original Illya certainly didn't.

"Hmph, don't bother thinking about them Illyasviel they're not worth considering." Jubstacheit harrumphed, immediately shooting down my question, "Instead let's continue onto the next servant since talking about Avenger is a waste of time. The Servant before Avenger was another Saber with solid parameters, naturally he lasted all the way until the end however Siegfried had a major flaw that became more apparent as the Second Grail War progressed, one that ultimately amounted to his loss at our enemies hands…"

_Ugh Parameter this, Parameter that! It's almost as if all Acht can see are pure numbers like some sort of glorified calculator. Then again he was an A.I.  
_

I tuned out the golem that called itself my grandfather keeping my face blank so as not to reveal that my thoughts were beginning to drift a mile away again.

My knowledge of the future as a piece of fiction seemed more reliable now with the confirmation of several things that I couldn't have known about beforehand and while it was dangerous to make assumptions on shaky information it was still better than diving face first while blind.

So if my memories were to be trusted the biggest obstacles to my survival could be lumped into three camps Gold Priest, Evil Matou and my crappy lifespan.

The first issue was the biggest problem which wasn't surprising considering that it was Gilgamesh, the same guy that could solo every other Servant in the War including Heracles. The pompous goldy wanted to rip my heart out my chest to purposefully create an incompatible grail so he could cull humanity and rule over its dead corpse.

_There was also Kirei and Lancer, but Berserker could take them._

I couldn't think of a single good way to beat the King of Heroes without uniting every other Servant against him and even if I did manage to accomplish that unlikely feat it wasn't sure to work. I mean I could try to better my chances by taking out his mana supply but with the Archer's Independent Action skill that would only serve to stall the proud Demigod at best.

There were the three ways he went down in canon, but the two good ones seemed unreliable at best. The Fate route had Saber reflect EA back at Gilgamesh with Avalon which sounded great until you realized that the King of heroes possessed multiple shields that could block such a blast and even more Noble Phantasms that allowed him to heal any damage he did receive at a moment's notice.

In other words it wasn't a method that I could rely on, especially considering that bad ends were a thing in the original Fate novel and considering Type-Moon was known for its multiple timelines, I wasn't guaranteed to be in one of the good routes. Unfortunately it was far more likely that I was in stuck in one of the more numerous failed timelines where everything goes to shit.

_Try not to think about that..._

Next was the Unlimited blade works route… It was a meme choice to say the least, so much had to go right for it to work as it basically revolved around Gilgamesh underestimating Shirou which didn't really inspire confidence. However the real problem was that a very specific sequence of events had to occur for Shirou to actually become a threat to the arrogant king which included the small detail of hmmm what was it again? Oh wait! I had to die before Shirou could defeat Gilgamesh in that route!

_No thank you._

That didn't mean the route was entirely useless since I knew how to turn Shirou from a helpless weakling into someone who could potentially defeat my greatest enemy. All I had to do was get an arm from Archer and graft it onto the younger version of my brother using the Shroud of Martin. The tough part was getting one of Archer's arms without making an enemy of him and Rin.

How the hell was I supposed to justify that? _Oh sorry, I took your arm Archer, but I totally need it. No, Don't be mad Rin, here I'll trade you it for Shirou's since I cut his arm off too!_

_Yeah, that was a quick way to make a few enemies._

The only surefire way to get rid of Gilgamesh that I could think of was to use Dark Sakura, but that was a horrible idea that would only serve to create a much bigger problem than it would solve.

Speaking of Sakura she was also another doomsday scenario waiting to happen, as if Gilgamesh wanting to purge humanity wasn't enough now we had to deal with the cup incarnating itself into an evil god that will also wipe out humanity.

_Oh, goody I sure do love these impending apocalypses hanging above my head like swords of Damocles, don't I?_

No, no I don't. It wasn't only my life that was on the line here, but quite literally everyone on this planet might depend on whether or not I pulled through.

_It feels heavy, I don't like this type of responsibility!_

I had to stop Sakura from going off the deep end or I'd die along with everyone else which left me with four options, the best option was to keep Shirou away from Sakura so Zouken never found the crack in the girl's armor that led to Heaven's Feel. It was doable, but I would essentially have to babysit Shirou to make sure he didn't accidentally start the route.

Of course if that failed I could take the fight to Zouken and drive him away from Sakura. This was also doable, but would cause major problems down the road as Zouken was akin to an annoying cockroach that I would never be rid of.

Unless I could negotiate with the worm by dangling what he wanted in front of his nose however methods for immortality and healing the soul weren't easy to come by so that wasn't in the cards yet. Still considering these topics were high on my priority list should I find a method I could share then it was certainly a possibility.

However in the worst case scenario and all of these methods failed and Heaven's Feel does start then the only solution was to either rely on the only route I didn't have full knowledge of as I had never finished it, or kill Sakura and alienate Shirou, Rin, Archer and probably even Saber.

_Would that even work though? Once Sakura gets to that point she's nearly unkillable... _

Either option was unacceptable, it was imperative I avoided the situation and pulled out all the stops as I needed the main cast's help for the best chance at beating Gilgamesh, I simply couldn't afford for Heaven's Feel to happen.

_Better make that double, triple, quadruple sure Heaven's Feel never starts then.  
_

Finally there was the fact that I only had a year or two to live even if I somehow avoided all the dead ends within the Grail War. Thankfully I actually had some ideas for that!

_Sort of..._

Medea the Caster of the Fifth War was noted to be able to create potions of immortality, if I could get one of those that might solve my problem, there was also the bonus that the potions could double as a great bargaining chip against Zouken if needed. Of course getting the real thing from a hostile witch known for her tendency of betrayal wasn't going to be easy.

_Impossible might be a more apt word, but i__f I could get her before Kuzuki and make sure I never called her a witch to her face, then perhaps..._

The more reliable option was to simply take both Avalon and Saber from Shirou and see if the legendary sheathe could fix my problem.

_Maybe Shirou will just give them to me if I ask nicely? Saving the life of his little sister is what a good Hero of Justice would do after all~  
_

"…The Matou Magecraft is problematic however I believe you can handle it by using your sorcery trait to create a mystery with a wide area of effect as their familiars are frail and weak, the only advantage they have is quantity." The droning voice of Jubstacheit pauses for a moment before returning, "Do you have any other questions Illyasviel?"

_Huh, what?_

I blink in momentary incomprehension before my current situation comes rushing back to me. Right I was in the same room as a piece of shit I wanted to kill but couldn't.

"No grandfather, that was all, thank you for the advice." I carefully worded my response as I shook my head and briskly made to leave the room, my mind already traveling elsewhere.

_I officially possessed dubious knowledge of the future now, but how?_

My memories of the future weren't placed by any run of the mill magus was something I was sure of, in fact there were only a few things on earth that were capable of this which amounted to the small list of the Wizard Marshal Zelretch, ALAYA and finally GAIA, but I didn't think any of them made sense.

GAIA wouldn't ever consider doing whatever created me, while ALAYA would simply empower people to do its bidding or use its contracted counter guardians instead of relying on whatever created me. Of the three Zelretch was the most likely, but everything about my current situation went against his peculiar style of interference.

In the end thinking about how I came to be was a fruitless endeavor, especially when I had more pressing concerns. It was akin to contemplating the nature of the Root while being repeatedly stabbed to death by a random thug off the street.

Putting aside useless existential questions I focused on my main goal, survival.

Now was the time to plan and prepare for the Fifth Holy Grail War and the first step was to list the few advantages I possessed as Illyasviel Von Einzbern since the first step towards victory is knowing oneself.

The most notable assets in my possession were the numerous command seals grafted within my body that doubled as powerful magic circuits. While most competitors in the Grail war only had a measly three seals, I easily had over a thousand, the fact I could use them to bolster my already ludicrous magic potential was only icing on the cake.

Following at a close second was my sorcery trait, Wish-Granting. It was a powerful ability that allowed me to cast almost any spell without having any knowledge about the spell in question and all I had to do was dump prana on whatever I desired to happen.

If I wanted to create a field of time distortion like Kiritsugu? I could do that! How about flying in the skies or hell even teleportation? I could do both! In fact there was very little I couldn't do so long as I had enough internal magical energy, or Od as it was called in the moonlit world, to fuel my sorcery trait.

Fortunately that was an area I excelled at as Wish-Granting synergized heavily with my previously mentioned trump card, there was a reason I was called the 'perfect master' by the Einzberns. I was a monster of a mage capable of actualizing any mystery that wasn't True Magic and even those I could ape pretty closely, it was to the point where most Magi and perhaps even the esteemed Barthomeloi family would turn green with envy upon learning of my magical aptitude.

Sadly while it sounded amazing on paper it wasn't that great in practice, as actualizing mysteries using Wish-Granting wasn't very mana efficient which became a problem when you factor in the giant magical drain that was Berserker into the mix. Still that problem paled in comparison to the true issue, I was entering a Grail war, an event where ridiculously strong beings whose weakest members could give even the strongest Magi a run for their money were my opponents. I would never win in a one on one against a Servant nor could I hurt them, at least not as I was right now.

Outside of direct battle with Servants though Wish-Granting's potential was near limitless, something that made my inner munchkin squeal with joy. I would have to wait for the Grail's support to kick in until I could truly utilize it though, as I was already pushing my magical limit by sustaining Heracles.

It was mana well spent though as Heracles was a Servant that I was confident wouldn't lose to anyone save Gilgamesh and no Salter didn't count, she was a cheating cheater who cheats, infinite mana? More like hacks, anyone could win with that!

_Okay maybe not everyone, but I certainly could._

"Illya…"

Moving on all that remained were minor things such as my deep well of knowledge on magecraft especially regarding Northern Alchemy, my personal magecraft Engel Note, the enormous amounts of money available to me, my dubious knowledge of the future and last but not least…

"Illyasviel!" A loud yell broke my concentration.

_Who dares interrupt my super important brainstorming session!?_

Wildly I looked around for the vile fiend ready to give them a piece of my mind only to spot a certain maid. "Are you ignoring me lady Illyasviel?" The homunculus mumbled with a downcast expression.

_Oh, it was just Sella…_

"No!" I hastily excuse my blunder to prevent my maid's mood from worsening, "I was just lost in thought Sella!"

Yup, in case anyone was wondering I had two personal maids who were loyal, caring and dutiful women who tried their best to take care of me, the fact that they were both flawless beauties to boot certainly didn't hurt either!

Wait, I had hot maids who would practically do anything for me...

_Ehe~_

_Get your mind out of the gutter you fool, they're only two years old, they're practically toddlers!_

That sobering thought immediately smothered my burgeoning fantasy in its cradle.

_Oh well, it wasn't like I could do anything with my body the way it currently was anyways._

...Actually come to think of it, didn't having people who were less than a tenth of my age take care of me, make me some sort of big baby?

Unaware of my self-disparaging thoughts Sella gave a cheerful smile, her previous frown nowhere to be seen as she responded back "Oh good, let's get you back to your room Lady Illyasviel. I'll have breakfast ready for you soon."

Wasting no time the maid took my hand dragging me away while simultaneously snapping me out of my negative fugue, but that was only due to to the spike of alarm I felt at this sudden situation. I jerked my head to where an astralized Berserker stood only to give a sigh of relief as Heracles seemed to realize Sella seizing my hand and forcefully dragging me away wasn't an attack.

That could've ended badly if Berserker took Sella's actions the wrong way, I couldn't help but wince at the thought of Sella smeared on the wall. Thankfully it seemed Heracles could tell whether someone approached me with hostile intent or not.

_Of course, Berserker was the best after all!_

With that happy thought I skipped after Sella allowing her lead the way to a scrumptious meal, letting the stressful thoughts about the impending Grail War slip away in favor of happy fantasies filled with delicious food.

_Hey, cut me some slack its been several weeks since I had a good meal._

* * *

**A/N 2: The chapter has now been edited. Also what do you think about the italicized thoughts between sentences, do they inject character or are they just an annoyance?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Don't own Type-Moon, nor do I profit off this work.**

* * *

_Reality always had a way of disappointing me, didn't it? _

I glanced at Sella's expectant gaze and then back down to the perpetrator of my shattered fantasies, a plate of sausages, I held back the urge to sigh in disappointment.

The source of my negativity wasn't from some arbitrary creed such as being a vegetarian or vegan, it was not even a dislike of sausages in general, I was just simply tired of German cuisine.

Day in, day out the same dishes again and again and again for years on end. I suppose I should have expected this considering that this was all I ate, but I really wanted to enjoy the spice of life. In other words I wanted to experience some variety in my diet.

I was a bit spoiled when it came to food, but I suppose that's what happens when you cook for yourself with a decent enough skill and a plethora of recipes and ingredients to choose from.

Still I _was_ starving and this beat foraging the woods for sustenance by a landslide. So I started to systematically shovel the food into my mouth, studiously trying to ignore my tongue in favor something else.

My traitorous mind instantly latched onto the topic close at hand, my maid's cooking skills. It wasn't that I hated Sella and Leysritt's cooking, I just needed to introduce them to new dishes and broaden their horizons.

It wouldn't even be hard, I just had to print out some recipes from the Internet…

_Hm? _

Wait a second, wasn't it 2004 right now? The internet was barely out of its infancy and sites to share cooking recipes probably weren't very big yet, if they even existed at all. Not to mention the fact we didn't even have a computer nor internet at the Einzbern manor.

Well, It wasn't the end of the world as I could still remember how to make some of my favorite dishes. I should totally teach my maids how to make some Boilermaker Tailgate Chili as it was easy to start with and then move on to my favorite lasagna recipe afterwards once they managed to nail the chili.

_Unfortunately, there was just one teensy tiny problem though._

Wouldn't cooking for the first time in my life and pulling strange new culinary creations out of the blue set off some alarms?

Leysritt probably wouldn't care with her stunted emotional range, but Sella would either be extremely suspicious at my sudden ability to cook or start crying her eyes out, bawling out something that I could imagine sounded like 'My food was so bad lady Illyasviel learned to cook for herself, I'm a failure as a maid, waaah!'

I began to laugh at the silly mental image of the straight laced and serious Sella making such a childish scene, only to start hacking as I nearly choke on the food that was in my mouth.

Quickly I began pounding my chest to alleviate my problem, fortunately it seemed to work, but I noticed something odd, namely a pair of hands wrapped around my stomach. I looked back only to see Sella and Leysritt behind me, the both of them seemed ready to perform the Heimlich Maneuver at a moment's notice.

"Are you alright Lady Illyasviel?" Sella asked me, her tone full of worry.

"Yes." I didn't trust myself to speak so I merely gave a short answer and a nod in response.

My reply was terse as I couldn't help but feel horribly embarrassed. I mean I was thankful that they were there to help, but at the same time I had witnesses to my epic fail.

_I guess this should teach me not to eat on autopilot. I would never live it down if I actually did manage to choke on some Bratwurst._

"If you say so…" Leysritt trailed off in her typical monotone, what wasn't typical was that she looked the faintest bit concerned. It might not seem like much, but this was the very same maid whose emotive range was so weak that she could be outdone by a toaster nearly every day of the week.

It was at this point that I just wanted to sink into the ground, but since that was not in the cards, I could only hope that my face didn't look like a fire hydrant due to shame.

My appetite thoroughly ruined by my mood, I began to remove myself from the situation as fast as I possibly could, only sparing one last look back at the pair of maids who were currently cleaning up the small mess I had coughed up, a sight that only served to worsen my mood as my already injured pride as an adult took major damage.

It was at this point I stormed out of the room before I could make an even bigger fool of myself.

_Stupid, stupid, __**Stupid**__!_

Making a scene here was something I should be avoiding at all costs considering Jubstacheit's eyes were everywhere here! This was the complete opposite of what I should be doing right now.

This was such a petty incident, but I was flustered beyond belief. What I needed to do is calm down!

I took a deep breath to calm myself, slowly trying to unwind the hot mess that was my emotions.

"_Illyasviel._" I startled, heart racing as Sella's stern voice called out from behind me.

I mechanically looked back towards my maid, stomach churning at the expected scolding of a lifetime.

"Where, do you think you're going in _that_?" Sella's finger pointed at my chest.

I looked down completely confused, only to see a white blouse completely stained with splatters of dried blood.

_Oh that._

"It's unacceptable for a young lady of the Einzbern to be walking about in such a deplorable state, you should know better than trying to run away from a bath by now." Sella lectured while her stern eyes glared into mine, causing me to wilt under the attention.

Torn between angrily yelling that I wasn't a child and collapsing from embarrassment, all I could do was absentmindedly mumble, "I'm sorry."

Fortunately the half-hearted apology was enough to satisfy Sella as she nodded in approval before her hand forcefully took mine and I was once again dragged off, only this time it was towards the baths.

It was barely a minute since my prompt capture by maid and I was already firmly situated in soapy warm water while being meticulously cleaned by Sella.

I could wash myself damnit!

_Still being pampered wasn't so bad, was it?_

I couldn't decide whether I liked being bathed or absolutely despised it. So I settled for blowing some bubbles under the water to vent my frustration.

This brought up a point that was becoming more and more apparent, I seemed to be constantly in two minds about nearly everything, as if I viewed the world through two different lenses. It made sense I suppose considering what I am, but I could not help but wonder if the stark differences would mellow out eventually and whether that was a good thing or not.

Still this wasn't something I could really do much about at the moment, so it only served as a distraction from what my mind was trying to avoid.

_How the hell was I supposed to get through the coming War?_

Even in the best case scenario where I defeat Gilgamesh and all the other Servants and came out on top, I would cease functioning as a sentient individual. It happened to Mama and it would happen to me as well.

How did that work? Well it was simple, I was the Lesser Grail. I collected the Servant's souls within me when they fell in battle, but I could only handle four Servants at most before I lost all function as a human being and become nothing more than a mindless doll.

_It was death in all but name._

A deep grimace graced my face at this fact, I was honestly at a loss. Even if I did everything in my ability to avoid functioning as the Lesser Grail the servants would simply go to Sakura and create a doomsday scenario not just for me, but the whole planet.

So I either had to somehow make sure at least half the Servants survived through the Holy Grail War or replace my heart, which was the Lesser Grail, before five Servants died. Removing the Grail wasn't something I could do lightly as if I did replace my heart, I would also lose my Sorcery Trait Wish-Granting due to the fact I only had it as a result of being the lesser grail, still not too hard right?

That was until you factored in that ever-accursed Goldy into the mix, Gilgamesh is noted to be worth at the very least three servants by himself and no, I don't mean in combat power. The ever so _illustrious_ King of Heroes has a soul with energy equivalent to hundreds of thousands of human souls which apparently was equivalent to the amount of energy three ordinary Servants would have.

Meaning even if I only killed Gilgamesh the Lesser Grail would nearly be full with him alone and I could only handle one or two more servants before I lost my mind and sadly that was the best-case scenario.

_The worst was well…_

Instantly dying the moment Gilgamesh kicked the bucket, as long I possessed the Lesser Grail for a heart.

This game was rigged, the deck stacked against me from the outset and the more I thought about it the more I realized just how deeply screwed I was.

The only option seemed to be to replace my heart during the Holy Grail War, since Wish-Granting as powerful as it could be, was simply not worth certain death. I could certainly preform a heart transplant without much trouble as I was well versed in healing Magecraft and with Sella and Leysritt supporting me I would definitely succeed.

_Haha, No._

If only it were so simple, my heart was no ordinary organ, but my entire being. I wasn't a regular homunculus, instead I was technically the Lesser Grail given human shape and consciousness. When my whole being was centered upon the Lesser Grail separating myself from my heart would almost certainly have catastrophic ramifications.

There was a reason I was trying to avoid even thinking about this, but if I was going to survive, I had to confront the harsh reality that my chances of getting through the Grail War in one piece were slim.

Thankfully I had a _few_ ways around this limitation, two to be exact. The first was obviously Avalon which would function as a decent stopgap measure and the second…

_The Dress Of Heaven._

It was detestable to even contemplate, but if I only had that dress my chances of making it through this farce of a war increased exponentially. It would allow me to move souls, to shape them to my will!

While it fell short of being a magician of the Third True Magic it was the closest a Magus like me could ever get. I couldn't become a soul made manifest, but I could certainly move the souls that would build up within the Lesser Grail. In other words it would easily negate having to worry about turning into a vegetable through victory!

To top it all off that was the least the Dress of Heaven could do especially if I used it in conjunction with my Wish-Granting trait. I could bring the impossible well within the realms of possibility and all it took was the small cost of a single sacrifice.

_Was I really going to commit to this course of action?_

The Dress of Heaven seemed like a beacon of light in a sea of darkness, but the only way to obtain it was through Leysritt's death. While the person in question probably wouldn't have a single problem with dying for my sake, as it was the whole reason she even existed, I did.

Leysritt was Illyasviel's… No, my friend, one of the very few people I cared about. The original Illyasviel had already accepted that Leysritt would sacrifice herself for the dress, it was her purpose after all, but I, I…

_I didn't want to order my friend to die._

* * *

**A/N: Okay so I hit a bit of a block halfway through the third chapter, but after a few months I decided to cut it in half and throw the latter away. **

**About half of what you see is what I finished a few days after the second chapter. Anyways I'll start on the next chapter from scratch and hopefully this will be the thing I need to get the story running again.**

**I plan to stay in the Einzbern manor for at least one more chapter before I move on to Fuyuki which is when the pace of the story will ramp up and be less monologue focused and more action driven where I actually have a lot planned. **

**To be honest half the reason I think I'm struggling right now is my muse wants to go to Fuyuki immediately, but can't since I don't want to rush the pacing.**

**A/N 2: Made some minor grammatical edits so the chapter hopefully reads better. A/N 3: More minor edits.  
**


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